Tag Archives: Human Experience

Universal aspects of life including joys, struggles, relationships, and personal evolution across diverse contexts.

Sirāt (2025)

#62 Months later, one movie still sparks deep reflections: Sirāt

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Today I met a friend with whom I love spending time. She’s a few years older than me, but we get along very well. We first met exactly two years ago through a local app called nebenan. At the time, I was desperately looking for someone to practice my German with, so I posted an announcement on the platform—and she responded. Since then, we’ve been meeting regularly, having tandem sessions almost every week.

We’ve reached a point now where we manage to talk about fairly complex topics. Our rule is simple: half an hour in English, half an hour in German. We take notes of each other’s mistakes and analyze them at the end of each round.

I don’t want to discuss our tandem strategy today, though. What I want to talk about is a topic that came up during our session and has stayed with me since I left the café where we met.

We spoke about a movie we both watched—Sirāt. I had actually seen it first, and it impacted me so deeply that I recommended it to everyone I know who appreciates my suggestions. The thing about this movie is that I don’t think everyone will understand or appreciate it. It’s very distant from the world most of us live in or are accustomed to. However, if you’ve ever experienced pure freedom, profound bonding, or deep experimentation in any area of life, I think the movie might speak to you in very personal and powerful ways—even if not in the same way it spoke to me.

If you’re planning to watch it, I’d suggest going in without reading anything about it. But if you want to know the premise, highlight the next paragraph with your mouse:

The movie follows a father searching for his daughter, who left home and appears to be enjoying raves somewhere in a North African desert. He’s accompanied by his son, and along the way they encounter a group of ravers who seem to know where she is.

I’m not going to review the movie in this post—perhaps I’ll write another one about it later.

What emerged from our discussion of Sirāt was a memory of a past relationship I once had with someone who pushed me to limits I didn’t know I could reach. With her, I experienced things I never thought I would. But things didn’t last—she was too intense, too unpredictable. And as much as I tried to make it work, at some point I felt compelled to break up with her. I did, though I believe she was unconsciously—or consciously—pushing me to do it. But that’s not the point here.

What matters is the awareness that surfaced from that reflection. I’ve always dreaded breakups. I don’t think anyone sane enjoys them. It breaks my heart to break someone else’s heart, and the feeling of loneliness and emptiness often drives me into another relationship too quickly—which isn’t the healthiest response. Still, I’ve been lucky to share meaningful connections with special souls, aside from a few situations where I regretted starting something serious too soon with clear mismatches.

What I’ve learned through one relationship after another is that I shouldn’t overthink things too much. Of course, it’s important to learn from each experience and take time to heal emotionally and mentally. But there’s no rulebook for life. Things happen, and we have to go with them—trusting both the process and ourselves. For me, that’s still hard, mostly because of my constant need for balance and peace—things I’m still learning how to compromise on.

#14 Making space to imperfections

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I understood early on in my life a very simple yet extremely valuable lesson: focusing on understanding who I am is one of the most important things I could do, if not the most important. However, despite dedicating time and effort trying to get to the core of myself, I often feel distant from it. Every time I learn something that brings me closer, life humbles me with new challenges, reminding me that this is an ongoing process.

I want to approach this topic from a different perspective—an angle I hadn’t considered until I moved to Berlin and met someone special who shed light on an aspect of this journey I couldn’t grasp until recently.

As a further premise, I believe that the pervasive influence of American media, which often portrays idealized and utopian lifestyles, with its emphasis on excessive ambition and idolizing the wealthy and famous while showcasing only their most appealing sides, has had an influence. This culture obscure the human element in people, fueling unrealistic and, to be honest, often unworthy aspirations. As I write this, I think about Tyler Durden’s words – the character created by Chuck Palahniuk in Fight Club:

We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

I would modify this quote, adding that we haven’t only been influenced by television but by various forms of modern media. And, contrary to Durden’s sentiment, there is no valid reason to be “very, very pissed off” about it. On the contrary, I feel relieved to have finally understood the deeper meaning of those words and moved beyond them.

To explain what I mean by this, let me elaborate on my earlier, seemingly inconclusive preamble.

I grew up searching for role models everywhere, only to be disappointed when they inevitably failed to embody their values consistently. This pattern of strict and unfair judgment led me to push away many great people and, even worse, apply this same harshness to myself. It took an enormous effort to develop self-compassion and overcome this ingrained self-criticism.

This approach created numerous problems, but the most troubling was my inability to acknowledge and give space to all aspects of my personality, including the “negative” ones I had long judged harshly. However, once I began to embrace these parts of myself, I started to genuinely appreciate who I am and develop deep empathy for others—even those, I assume, whom most people would find difficult to understand.

There is an important distinction to be made between empathizing with someone and accepting all their actions without discernment. Setting boundaries and recognizing what we can tolerate is a crucial part of this process.

I could delve deeper into this topic, but I’ll stop here by stating that a guiding principle I have integrated into my life is to live authentically, own my attitudes, and avoid being swayed by external influences. Self-analysis, speaking from the heart, therapy, and facing my fears have all helped me identify and step back from mental dependencies. These practices have also revealed the patterns people use to draw admiration for their skills or experiences—and the self-imposing limitations we create.