I recently had a conversation with a German friend that brought up an interesting topic highlighting cultural differences and perspectives.
We started talking about ethics in customer service and sales, then expanded the conversation to the importance of being authentic and honest. From his point of view and upbringing, being one’s true self and saying what one thinks is essential and non-negotiable. Today, I agree with him 100% on this viewpoint, but back then, I was caught up in the mechanisms of the main cultures I was exposed to as a child and adolescent. I probably wouldn’t have even been able to acknowledge its importance.
We were drinking tea, and he picked up a mug to make a point:
“In Germany, I would sell this (the mug) to you by saying, ‘You can drink from it.’ Maybe I would additionally mention the quality of the material, but that’s it.”
Yes, I thought, that aligns with my experience with Germans—a very essential, functional, and honest approach. That’s one of the main reasons I like living here: I don’t lose sleep trying to interpret the hidden meanings of something someone told me the day before. They say what they think and think what they say, most of the time.
“In Italy and Brazil, that wouldn’t work,” I replied. “Marketing is a powerful component in selling any product, and you need to deliver a story that touches the heart to catch someone’s attention.”
That’s not exactly what I said; I’m paraphrasing a little. We were speaking in German, so I probably said something even more basic, but that’s what I was trying to communicate. However, as I wrote this paraphrased version, I noticed the issue again in the words “to catch someone’s attention.”
From my experience, in Latin America and Mediterranean countries, emotions and feelings are deeply embedded in communication. Some might perceive this as dramatic, while others might call it passionate. The challenge, however, is that one can easily get carried away by emotions and stories. Trying to convince an audience—or simply “to catch their attention”—by leveraging emotions is a tricky endeavor. It can often blur into manipulation, where pleasing others, telling white lies, or navigating situations through embellished stories (whether true or not) becomes a common practice.
This approach often shifts the focus toward meeting the expectations of others rather than adhering to the values that are meaningful to oneself. As a result, it sometimes feels like everyone is playing a role rather than being their authentic selves. And yet, I recognize that these are cultural traits of the societies and communities I’ve been exposed to. Of course, there are ways to develop ethical practices within these cultural frameworks, but I’d argue that it’s challenging to stay authentic—or, to put it less abstractly, to remain connected to one’s core and true self.
The greater danger is that, in constantly trying to meet others’ expectations, we risk losing touch with our own needs. Personally, I feel I’ve grown closer to understanding my own needs in the five years I’ve lived in Germany than in the thirty-three years I lived elsewhere. Perhaps this is simply part of my natural maturation process, unrelated to the cultural environment—one can never be entirely certain. Still, I believe living here has significantly influenced this journey.
I say all this without resentment or regret about my past or roots—or at least, I hope that’s true.
To close, I hope I haven’t hurt anyone’s feelings with this anecdotal and spontaneous reflection. I realize cultural differences are a slippery slope and are often prone to stereotyping. If I’ve fallen into that trap, I apologize in advance.
