Here I pause to think out loud. From societal questions to inner transformations, these entries explore ideas, emotions, and contradictions — with no need for perfect conclusions. It’s where thought meets feeling.
I had forgotten how, at the end of each day, work can deplete us of the energy to create anything beyond what we are expected to do at the office. This is not a complaint—it’s just an acknowledgment of reality. As I write these words, I’m squeezing my neurons to produce something meaningful, even though I know it might be a failed attempt.
I usually write my posts well in advance, which allows me to reflect on what I wrote and polish it if necessary. I focus on a specific topic that I’ve had in mind for a while, or sometimes on something that comes up spontaneously. Regardless, I usually schedule the post to be published on Fridays. Today, however, I’m writing a very spontaneous post on no particular topic, which I will publish immediately.
I’m not sure why I feel this need to justify myself—to whom? What I write is barely read by anyone. Even my girlfriend and a really good friend—whom I forced myself to send links to a couple of posts—aren’t particularly interested in my “work thoughts,” and honestly, I don’t blame them. This can be an exhausting topic and difficult to follow purely on a personal impulse, as I tend to ping-pong here and there without a precise plan, guided only by my love for writing. But I love it the way it is. I don’t seek much visibility; I really enjoy my “wannabe” blog/personal website that never quite takes off, with its occasional visitor who drops by briefly—and the rare reader who shows appreciation with a like.
I guess I’m not justifying myself but rather reflecting on this nonsensical train of thought on a very long and tiring Thursday.
There are a lot of topics I want to discuss in my future posts, including the following draft titles that I have in mind:
A good manager and a good team are the most important things in a job
Understanding that I can overcome any struggle helps with challenges (I think I will repeat this topic over and over, as it’s some sort of “resilience-building mantra” for me)
Perspective and free writing
How I use AI in my blog posts
Reflections on the end of the year: a tough one
So, for my courageous (or imaginary) readers, stay tuned, as 2025 is going to be filled with boring, probably badly written, and unexciting topics.
The way I understand it, the Stoic approach teaches us to accept whatever comes our way with calmness, without compromising our values. And I think it’s a valuable way to see things. However, over time, I realized that this philosophy led me to focus more on the negative possibilities lying ahead rather than the positive ones. I started to picture worst-case scenarios to prepare myself to accept them beforehand. I kind of twisted Stoicism to my own disadvantage—DIY philosophy gone wrong, ouch!
Focusing on the gloomy side of things eventually drained me, and I didn’t even realize what I was doing until I pushed it too far. At first, I would comment on discussions, expressing mainly opinions on what could go wrong. When someone called me out for being pessimistic, I would correct them, insisting I was just being “realistic.”
But this mindset snowballed. I began developing irrational fears about even the smallest things. I became extremely controlling—of myself, my habits, my activities, the situations I put myself in, and the people I met. I built a pattern of suspicion toward literally everything, and over time, it became more and more ingrained in my system.
High Performance, Low Humanity
What’s fascinating to notice, though, is that at the same time this mindset was evolving, I became more organized and productive than ever—but with a cynical and detached attitude toward others. Strangely enough, in terms of my career, this period marked the most significant advancements. I felt a bit like one of those high-ranking professionals or “psychopathic CEOs” living in a bubble of strategic thinking, productivity, and metrics-driven values.
But this way of thinking wasn’t sustainable, at least not for me. I’ve always been a sensitive person, deeply connected to and attentive toward the people around me. This mindset was kilometers away from my core.
Worse yet, I lacked the self-compassion to understand where all of this was originating from. My default relationship with myself was rooted in self-criticism and intolerance. I couldn’t stand myself anymore. Things got even worse: I slowly became paranoid. I lost my courage and, to a certain extent, my curiosity to go out, discover new things, and meet new people.
It took me a while to realize these patterns, but when I did, thankfully, I understood I needed to hit the reset button. I had to start working on myself and make the necessary adjustments, whatever that meant.
I needed to heal. And for the person I was back then—diffident, suspicious, and pessimistic—that was a journey I could only embark on alone.
I understood early on in my life a very simple yet extremely valuable lesson: focusing on understanding who I am is one of the most important things I could do, if not the most important. However, despite dedicating time and effort trying to get to the core of myself, I often feel distant from it. Every time I learn something that brings me closer, life humbles me with new challenges, reminding me that this is an ongoing process.
I want to approach this topic from a different perspective—an angle I hadn’t considered until I moved to Berlin and met someone special who shed light on an aspect of this journey I couldn’t grasp until recently.
The myth of idealized lives
As a further premise, I believe that the pervasive influence of American media, which often portrays idealized and utopian lifestyles, with its emphasis on excessive ambition and idolizing the wealthy and famous while showcasing only their most appealing sides, has had an influence. This culture obscure the human element in people, fueling unrealistic and, to be honest, often unworthy aspirations. As I write this, I think about Tyler Durden’s words – the character created by Chuck Palahniuk in Fight Club:
We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.
I would modify this quote, adding that we haven’t only been influenced by television but by various forms of modern media. And, contrary to Durden’s sentiment, there is no valid reason to be “very, very pissed off” about it. On the contrary, I feel relieved to have finally understood the deeper meaning of those words and moved beyond them.
To explain what I mean by this, let me elaborate on my earlier, seemingly inconclusive preamble.
I grew up searching for role models everywhere, only to be disappointed when they inevitably failed to embody their values consistently. This pattern of strict and unfair judgment led me to push away many great people and, even worse, apply this same harshness to myself. It took an enormous effort to develop self-compassion and overcome this ingrained self-criticism.
This approach created numerous problems, but the most troubling was my inability to acknowledge and give space to all aspects of my personality, including the “negative” ones I had long judged harshly. However, once I began to embrace these parts of myself, I started to genuinely appreciate who I am and develop deep empathy for others—even those, I assume, whom most people would find difficult to understand.
There is an important distinction to be made between empathizing with someone and accepting all their actions without discernment. Setting boundaries and recognizing what we can tolerate is a crucial part of this process.
I could delve deeper into this topic, but I’ll stop here by stating that a guiding principle I have integrated into my life is to live authentically, own my attitudes, and avoid being swayed by external influences. Self-analysis, speaking from the heart, therapy, and facing my fears have all helped me identify and step back from mental dependencies. These practices have also revealed the patterns people use to draw admiration for their skills or experiences—and the self-imposing limitations we create.
Recently, I watched a wonderful film called E.1027 – Eileen Gray and the house by the sea. What I loved most about it, without going into a detailed plot description, was the self-awareness displayed by the main character as she navigated intense events in her career and personal life.
I was struck by her ability to discern, with extreme clarity, what she wanted and where she drew her boundaries. She always knew what affected her, in what ways, and what she wanted to do about it. She would then act in alignment with her needs, accepting the consequences without victimizing herself, while allowing space for the emotions that naturally arose.
There were simple things she said that were impactful, eye-opening, and at the same time extremely relatable. It felt as though I had arrived at the same conclusions myself many times before—only to forget them again and again.
Solitude, Fear, and the Search for Home
For example, at one point she says something along these lines regarding how relationships disrupt her work: “A constant stream of conversations and small activities prevents me from focusing on projects I value […] I need to spend days in a row on my own to allow ideas to flow again.”
At another moment, she reflects: “People and open spaces sometimes frighten me.”
Or, as a conclusion on her search for a place she could call home: “The home I was looking for was in my imagination, in my work.”
I was moved by these statements, primarily because they were part of the character’s inner dialogue, free from judgment and filled with compassion.
The power—and subtle trap—of self-awareness
And that’s where, once again, I acknowledged the power of self-compassion—the value of a kind and empathetic inner dialogue, which has such profound potential to support us through life’s challenges.
Yet there’s also a deceiving aspect to self-awareness. I think it’s essential to allow self-awareness to simply be, rather than overthinking it as a concept. Our minds are like lighthouses: they illuminate what needs attention, although sometimes we need to elevate our perspective to truly see the full panorama.
Self-awareness is not a destination; it’s an evolving aspect of our growth, and it requires an openness to paradox. Embracing self-compassion alongside self-awareness can help us navigate this journey, allowing us to uncover insights and perspectives that guide us—perhaps not always where we expected, but ultimately, where we need to be.
There are many aspects to consider before moving to a new country or city. Right now, though, the list goes beyond the usual considerations like culture, language, lifestyle expectations, or city appeal. We are undergoing powerful transitions in society, technology, and geopolitics that could reshape our perception of the world for a long time. And it’s not just individuals who need to adapt; families, institutions, communities, and companies must also come to terms with what is happening now and what these changes will bring.
Leaving aside the topic of artificial intelligence—which is already having a major impact in ways we can hardly predict—there are other significant forces at play. For instance, there is a noticeable shift toward more conservative and right-wing policies, which are changing how societies think about immigration. In recent years, there was a wave of solidarity and openness toward migrants, but now a more pragmatic and less tolerant narrative is gaining ground. It’s happening so quickly that even people who previously found this kind of mindset unthinkable are now aligning with it.
Further challenges lie ahead
Wars are breaking out in various regions, directly threatening Europe’s stability. The conflict in Ukraine has already had far-reaching consequences, with economic sanctions, energy crises, and shifting military strategies impacting countries across the continent. Meanwhile, China’s booming exports of electric vehicles are challenging Germany’s longstanding dominance in the automotive industry, sending shockwaves throughout Europe. The country that once set the benchmark for car manufacturing is now grappling with the pressure to innovate and stay competitive in a rapidly changing market.
These developments stir up fear, and fear often leads to a desire for strong leadership. This dynamic can pave the way for leaders who use nationalism and populist rhetoric to appeal to people’s insecurities. When a society starts to retreat into itself, valuing national pride over openness, the consequences can ripple through everyday life, influencing social interactions, job opportunities, and even cultural trends.
Here in Berlin, for example, I’ve noticed a shift toward a more conservative mindset. While there are still job opportunities, they are increasingly more accessible to locals or, at the very least, to those who speak the language fluently. The city’s diverse and international reputation is still alive, but the job market is no longer as accommodating to newcomers who lack strong German language skills. As companies face economic uncertainties, they prioritize candidates who can quickly integrate into the workplace culture and communicate seamlessly with customers and colleagues.
Moreover, the country’s economy is struggling to regain its footing amid global challenges. The energy crisis sparked by the war in Ukraine, combined with the disruption of the automotive industry by Chinese competitors, is creating a perfect storm of economic pressure. Inflation remains a concern, with rising living costs eroding the quality of life for many residents. For those considering a move to Germany, especially without a clear professional path or language skills, this might not be the best time to take the leap.
Germany’s situation serves as a reminder that the global landscape is shifting. What was once a relatively predictable place for career growth and stability is now part of a broader trend toward economic protectionism and social conservatism. The conditions that made it an attractive destination are changing, and anyone contemplating relocation should weigh these factors carefully.
It is important to acknowledge the complexity of this topic, as there are many other historical, economic, and social dynamics that I have not addressed here. This post is not an attempt to exhaust the subject but rather a personal reflection to make sense of what’s going on in these uncertain times.
There are some simple lessons in life that we should never forget, as they have a significant impact on our mental and physical well-being. Things like going for a walk every day, spending time with friends, avoiding ultra-processed foods, cutting back on alcohol and smoking, not taking what people say too seriously, having a hobby, setting personal goals, and limiting social media use are all crucial. These practices form the building blocks that shape our values and behavioural patterns, helping us grow in a healthy and sustainable way.
That being said, there is one major lesson I find myself coming back to over and over again: caring less about my job. I have to constantly remind myself of this, as it’s easy to get caught up in the demands and pressures of work. But what do I mean by “caring less”? Or rather, what don’t I mean?
I don’t mean being unprofessional, neglecting our responsibilities, ignoring our colleagues, or disregarding the values of the companies we work for. We all know what we’re signing up for when we accept a job, and that involves meeting certain expectations. What I do mean is not letting work dominate our lives, not thinking that our self-worth is tied to promotions, or believing that our achievements define who we are. It’s about recognizing that being a top performer, having a perfectionist approach, or always striving for the next goal doesn’t necessarily lead to a fulfilling life. We must realise that accuracy and timeliness should not come at the expense of a sustainable and supportive work environment.
At the end of the day, we all need a warm meal, shelter, and clothes—that’s why we work. But what truly matters is cultivating a sense of community and connection, which is far more valuable than chasing status or praise.
Here’s what I’ve learned about working smarter by caring less
Blend in with the team, but don’t lose your values. This doesn’t mean conforming to every workplace norm or abandoning your principles; it means finding a balance between fitting in and staying true to who you are.
Optimise your efforts. Do your job well, but make it effortlessly. Working smart means completing tasks effectively without overexerting yourself. Strive for consistency and efficiency instead of always aiming to over-deliver. Remember, sometimes “good enough” is just fine!
Make friends at work, not enemies. You’ll spend a significant portion of your life with your colleagues, so keeping relationships pleasant is essential. Minimise stress by avoiding conflicts, steering clear of unnecessary arguments, and fostering a smooth, cooperative work environment. Focus on getting tasks done well and quickly without feeling the need to prove anything to anyone.
Detach your identity from your job title. Your worth isn’t defined by your position or company achievements. What you do for a living is not who you are as a person. It’s crucial to maintain a healthy boundary between your professional life and your sense of self.
Prioritise your time and energy. Ask yourself, “Is this worth the stress?” If the answer is no, don’t overextend yourself for something that won’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
What not to do
Don’t obsess over performance reviews. They often create a false sense of purpose and can lead to frustration. Instead, focus on what genuinely matters to you in your profession, whether it’s helping clients, mentoring colleagues, or refining a particular skill.
Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s tempting to measure your success against your peers, but this only adds unnecessary pressure. Concentrate on your own daily progress and keep things simple—your career is your personal journey.
Don’t let work dictate your happiness. If your mood swings according to your job performance, you’re giving too much power to external factors. Find joy and fulfillment outside the office, where real life happens.
Don’t feel obligated to respond to every email or request immediately. Not everything is urgent, and learning to prioritize and set boundaries is key to avoiding burnout. Manage expectations by setting reasonable response times.
Life is much more than the work we do
We often tie our self-worth to professional achievements, letting our jobs shape our identities. When we start caring less about what society tells us important, we create space for a healthier, more balanced life. Understanding what working smart means to us is key. For me, it’s about knowing when to let go, setting boundaries, and choosing sustainable growth over chasing perfection.
