Going through a layoff for the first time
As I wait to start my new job role at the beginning of next month, I can’t help but reflect on what brought me here: the layoffs at my previous company. It’s a frustrating topic—especially as layoffs have been an unfortunate trend this year too—but one worth sharing. Many professionals are currently going through the same experience, and I hope this reflection might help someone navigate their own journey.
Experiencing layoffs for the first time can be overwhelming. The emotions that come with it—shock, frustration, even shame—are intense. Looking back, I realize that if someone had told me what lay ahead, I might have reacted more positively (or maybe not, who knows!). But one thing I’m sure of is that, if I had to go through it again (which I hope I don’t), I’d handle it better, thanks to the lessons I’ve learned.
Here are the stages I went through, from the moment I received the bad news to the moment I landed another job.
The shock
I had a sense that something was coming at my company, but I didn’t expect it to hit me. Just weeks before, I’d joined a new team with the prospect of being promoted to lead the content internationalisation efforts. It was a challenging time—my manager was on maternity leave, and the workload had increased. The team was struggling, morale was low, and I was left to figure things out on my own.
But that’s where I thrive. I love high-pressure situations. Just as I started to get a handle on my new responsibilities, I received an email: a sudden 15-minute all-hands meeting scheduled for Monday. It felt suspicious. We had just acquired a competitor, so nobody expected layoffs. But I did. Company communication had been poor for months, with leadership throwing out vague praise like, “You’re all in the driver’s seat!” despite the bad numbers and other red flags that were as obvious as a summer sun.
When the CEO and founder announced that 20% of the workforce would be laid off, we were all stunned. They said we’d know who was affected within 30 minutes. It was one of the longest half-hours of my life, but deep down, I knew I would be on the list. And I was right.
Anger, hurt, and feeling lost
The email arrived, confirming what I feared. I felt angry, hurt, and, most of all, lost. It was a shock that hit me harder than most life events—on par with moments like the covid lockdowns or the loss of a loved one. Working in an almost fully remote team made it worse. There was no office to gather in, no teammates to share a drink with after a devastating day. My company accounts were shut down immediately, leaving me isolated. I felt ashamed, even though there was no reason to feel that way.
The loneliness of remote work and my sense of disconnection, reminding me of my childhood years, when I first moved to Italy and struggled to adapt to a new culture. The layoff brought back those feelings of being lost and misunderstood.
Navigating the German job market and filing for unemployment
Though it was a tough time, I’m grateful that it happened in Germany. The country’s social support system is exceptional. I eventually turned to the Agentur für Arbeit to file for Arbeitslosengeld (unemployment benefits), and while the process involved a lot of paperwork and back-and-forth, I felt supported. They provided clear guidance, and my previous company also did what they could to help us transition. But, at the time, I was too emotionally drained to fully take advantage of those resources.
Still, Arbeitslosengeld helped me cover my rent and necessities while I regrouped and planned my next steps. For anyone going through a similar situation, I highly recommend contacting the Agentur für Arbeit right away (it must happen within the first three working days following the layoff)—it’s a crucial step in moving forward.
Seeking distractions while unemployed
During the summer 2023, I sought distractions wherever I could. I enjoyed what Berlin had to offer: spending a few weekends at Berghain, attending the Fusion Festival, or just getting lost in the city’s vibrant culture. It was a much-needed escape from the daily grind of rejection emails and fruitless interviews.
I realised that, sometimes, it’s okay to take a break. Finding balance is key when you’re in such a high-stress situation. The emotional toll can be heavy, and allowing yourself moments of joy can help you stay resilient.
Rebuilding my job search strategy
After a few months, I had to face reality and reconstruct a proper structure for my job search. I overhauled my CV, updated my LinkedIn profile, and reached out to my network. It was a repetitive, exhausting process—applying for jobs, going through endless interviews, and then never hearing back from recruiters.
But I didn’t give up. I also took the opportunity to improve my German, enrolling in a courses, workshops and other professional activities. It helped me feel productive and gave me the confidence to apply for roles that required a higher level of language proficiency.
The lucky breakthrough
And then, when I least expected it, I received the call. A new job offer! It’s funny how that works. After months of feeling stuck and discouraged, everything turned around in a single phone call.
Looking back, I see that the job search is like planting seeds—you never know when or where they’ll sprout, but persistence pays off in the end. If you’re currently in this stage, know that your lucky break might be just around the corner, even though it might feel that way.
