Author Archives: Carlos

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About Carlos

I love writing.

#13 The woman with the bike on the tram

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This morning, I experienced a typical Berlin mid-November scene: a tram packed with moody, wet adults, adolescents, and children on their way to work and school. The energy was subdued yet calming. Despite the lack of enthusiasm and excitement, there was a certain peace in the air. Everyone was minding their own business, respecting the unspoken agreement to keep conversations minimal. Heads were buried in screens, books, or gazing out of the window.

As usual, I took out the book I was currently reading and, within moments, was completely absorbed. The city noises, the smell of soaked bodies—all of it faded as I was drawn deeper into the story. The opening and closing of doors at each stop and the subtle shifts in the crowd barely registered as I turned page after page.

Then, the flow of the commute was interrupted. A woman with a bike entered the tram exactly where I was standing forcing me to make a couple of steps back and squeeze myself against a bench of strangers, including a tiny girl that had chosen a corner for herself to zoom out of the rest of the crowd. The woman with the bike pushed her way in, further jostling against the tightly packed passengers, risking injury to both children and adults standing shoulder to shoulder. Eyes turned toward her, expecting an apology, a conciliatory smile, or, better yet, her realizing the situation and stepping back out. But none of that happened. She stood there, straight and stiff, chin held high, exuding an air of entitlement I had rarely seen.

I noticed a baby seat attached to the back of her bike as she pressed a few children against the doors. The passengers, already drained and bracing for their day ahead, lacked the energy to challenge her behavior. It was simply too early for that. And me? I wouldn’t dare confront a mother during the morning rush in a city as ultra-feminist and politically correct as Berlin. Not a chance.

Still, like everyone else, I was irritated. The carefully curated, mid-November bubble of morning quiet had burst. The shared sense of empathy was gone, replaced by heavy sighs and exasperated glances as the tram carried us to the next stops.

Finally, my transfer stop arrived. I crossed the street to the S-Bahn at Alexanderplatz, boarded the train, and reopened my book, ready to return to my story.

Written on 14.11.2024

#12 The paradox of self-awareness

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A portrait of radical self-awareness

Recently, I watched a wonderful film called E.1027 – Eileen Gray and the house by the sea. What I loved most about it, without going into a detailed plot description, was the self-awareness displayed by the main character as she navigated intense events in her career and personal life.

I was struck by her ability to discern, with extreme clarity, what she wanted and where she drew her boundaries. She always knew what affected her, in what ways, and what she wanted to do about it. She would then act in alignment with her needs, accepting the consequences without victimizing herself, while allowing space for the emotions that naturally arose.

There were simple things she said that were impactful, eye-opening, and at the same time extremely relatable. It felt as though I had arrived at the same conclusions myself many times before—only to forget them again and again.

Solitude, Fear, and the Search for Home

For example, at one point she says something along these lines regarding how relationships disrupt her work:
“A constant stream of conversations and small activities prevents me from focusing on projects I value […] I need to spend days in a row on my own to allow ideas to flow again.”

At another moment, she reflects:
“People and open spaces sometimes frighten me.”

Or, as a conclusion on her search for a place she could call home:
“The home I was looking for was in my imagination, in my work.”

I was moved by these statements, primarily because they were part of the character’s inner dialogue, free from judgment and filled with compassion.

The power—and subtle trap—of self-awareness

And that’s where, once again, I acknowledged the power of self-compassion—the value of a kind and empathetic inner dialogue, which has such profound potential to support us through life’s challenges.

Yet there’s also a deceiving aspect to self-awareness. I think it’s essential to allow self-awareness to simply be, rather than overthinking it as a concept. Our minds are like lighthouses: they illuminate what needs attention, although sometimes we need to elevate our perspective to truly see the full panorama.

Self-awareness is not a destination; it’s an evolving aspect of our growth, and it requires an openness to paradox. Embracing self-compassion alongside self-awareness can help us navigate this journey, allowing us to uncover insights and perspectives that guide us—perhaps not always where we expected, but ultimately, where we need to be.

#11 Avoiding resentment and reactivity

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Strength vs. reaction in the workplace

Some people believe that, in a work environment, you must assert yourself by setting firm boundaries with strength and determination, never allowing anyone to undermine your position. I fully agree with setting clear boundaries, but the approach matters. If “strength” translates to being aggressive, defensive, or perpetually on guard, assuming the worst in others, then I disagree.

In the long run, this approach breeds paranoia, making it challenging for others to work with and relate to us. I’ve been on both sides of this dynamic at different stages in my life.

Emotional maturity as a daily practice

What I’ve found insightful is that a company’s culture is rarely about the idealized values outlined by executives. Rather, it’s defined by the values each employee embodies and the way they adapt to the existing culture within their teams.

The companies and teams I found the easiest to integrate with—and where I felt I could thrive—were those where emotional maturity prevailed or where there was, at least, a collective inclination toward it. By “emotional maturity,” I mean an environment without inflated egos, where no one overly identifies with their role in a way that makes them unduly reactive or critical. For instance, when team members see feedback as a mutual growth tool rather than a personal critique, it fosters a supportive environment rather than a hostile one.

Of course, no workplace is perfect. There will be times when we take things personally, and tense moments are inevitable. We are human, after all. Expecting total detachment or a complete absence of reactivity over months and years of collaboration is unrealistic. The key is learning to manage these tensions constructively.

A practical framework: Nonviolent Communication

On this regard, I’ve found tremendous support in the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) principles developed by Marshall Rosenberg. NVC emphasizes empathetic listening, focusing on both our own and others’ needs, and communicating in a way that strengthens relationships rather than damages them. I recommend reading Rosenberg’s book or even attending NVC workshops; these principles can genuinely transform our interactions.

Ultimately, it’s essential to avoid harboring resentment—whether toward ourselves or others—and to remember that we’re part of a continuous growth process. Every challenge is an opportunity to learn, depending on our perspective. Rather than labeling experiences as “good” or “bad,” it’s more productive to view them as parts of life’s broader journey.

What truly matters is our ability to work harmoniously with the communities we’re part of, remaining aware of our values, staying true to ourselves, and upholding our principles without losing our sense of self. By focusing on collaboration and maturity, we contribute positively to both our personal growth and the work environment around us.

#10 Repeated career attempts

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(Average Reading Time: 4 minutes)

A month ago, I visited the Deutsche Kinemathek in Berlin with my girlfriend. As we wandered through captivating installations that depicted the history of German cinema, nostalgia crept in. I found myself reflecting on my bachelor’s studies in cinema—my attempts at directing short films, acting, writing screenplays, and so on. The feelings were pleasant at first, but soon I began ruminating on the trajectory of my professional life. I had moved from one job title to another, often viewing these shifts through a harsh, judgmental lens rather than appreciating them as part of my journey.

Instead of recognizing the value I brought to each role—my professional approach, strong work ethic, and endless curiosity—I focused on what I perceived as missteps. I overlooked the fact that I had become a content expert with a proven track record in customer satisfaction. That, in itself, is a significant achievement. It means I know my strengths and where I can contribute most effectively.

What I realized is that this way of thinking is common, perhaps even ingrained. After all, we set goals for ourselves and strive for continuous improvement. When we look back, we want to see a clear path of progress, not stagnation—or worse, regression. But here’s the crucial question: Is this need for progress real, or is it a projection of unrealistic societal values that have crept into our everyday thinking? I believe it’s the latter.

The pursuit of a “great” career, or simply a career, often masks a deeper need for stability—a need that is entirely human. But when this desire for stability becomes an obsession, to the point where we resent the ups and downs that shape our lives and define who we are, then there’s something wrong with the narrative we’ve internalized. This narrative, fueled by Western ideals of ambition and extraordinary achievements, often overlooks the importance of community, teamwork, self-compassion, and acceptance.

I belive that self-compassion and acceptance, especially, are qualities we need to remind ourselves of constantly. Research shows that they are key to building resilience, reducing stress, and safeguarding our mental health.

In the end, our careers aren’t always linear paths with clear milestones of success. They are filled with twists, turns, and moments of uncertainty. What truly matters is not how precisely we follow a predefined route, but how we adapt, learn, and grow along the way. By embracing self-compassion and accepting where we are—rather than constantly chasing where we think we should be—we give ourselves the freedom to explore new opportunities, evolve with our experiences, and build resilience. It’s in this acceptance that we find true empowerment, allowing us to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace, confidence, and a deeper sense of purpose.

#9 A job market transformation – Part 2

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Not the best time to move to Germany

There are many aspects to consider before moving to a new country or city. Right now, though, the list goes beyond the usual considerations like culture, language, lifestyle expectations, or city appeal. We are undergoing powerful transitions in society, technology, and geopolitics that could reshape our perception of the world for a long time. And it’s not just individuals who need to adapt; families, institutions, communities, and companies must also come to terms with what is happening now and what these changes will bring.

Leaving aside the topic of artificial intelligence—which is already having a major impact in ways we can hardly predict—there are other significant forces at play. For instance, there is a noticeable shift toward more conservative and right-wing policies, which are changing how societies think about immigration. In recent years, there was a wave of solidarity and openness toward migrants, but now a more pragmatic and less tolerant narrative is gaining ground. It’s happening so quickly that even people who previously found this kind of mindset unthinkable are now aligning with it.

Further challenges lie ahead

Wars are breaking out in various regions, directly threatening Europe’s stability. The conflict in Ukraine has already had far-reaching consequences, with economic sanctions, energy crises, and shifting military strategies impacting countries across the continent. Meanwhile, China’s booming exports of electric vehicles are challenging Germany’s longstanding dominance in the automotive industry, sending shockwaves throughout Europe. The country that once set the benchmark for car manufacturing is now grappling with the pressure to innovate and stay competitive in a rapidly changing market.

These developments stir up fear, and fear often leads to a desire for strong leadership. This dynamic can pave the way for leaders who use nationalism and populist rhetoric to appeal to people’s insecurities. When a society starts to retreat into itself, valuing national pride over openness, the consequences can ripple through everyday life, influencing social interactions, job opportunities, and even cultural trends.

Here in Berlin, for example, I’ve noticed a shift toward a more conservative mindset. While there are still job opportunities, they are increasingly more accessible to locals or, at the very least, to those who speak the language fluently. The city’s diverse and international reputation is still alive, but the job market is no longer as accommodating to newcomers who lack strong German language skills. As companies face economic uncertainties, they prioritize candidates who can quickly integrate into the workplace culture and communicate seamlessly with customers and colleagues.

Moreover, the country’s economy is struggling to regain its footing amid global challenges. The energy crisis sparked by the war in Ukraine, combined with the disruption of the automotive industry by Chinese competitors, is creating a perfect storm of economic pressure. Inflation remains a concern, with rising living costs eroding the quality of life for many residents. For those considering a move to Germany, especially without a clear professional path or language skills, this might not be the best time to take the leap.

Germany’s situation serves as a reminder that the global landscape is shifting. What was once a relatively predictable place for career growth and stability is now part of a broader trend toward economic protectionism and social conservatism. The conditions that made it an attractive destination are changing, and anyone contemplating relocation should weigh these factors carefully.

It is important to acknowledge the complexity of this topic, as there are many other historical, economic, and social dynamics that I have not addressed here. This post is not an attempt to exhaust the subject but rather a personal reflection to make sense of what’s going on in these uncertain times.

To be continued.

#8 Care less, work smarter

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A socially accepted bad habit

There are some simple lessons in life that we should never forget, as they have a significant impact on our mental and physical well-being. Things like going for a walk every day, spending time with friends, avoiding ultra-processed foods, cutting back on alcohol and smoking, not taking what people say too seriously, having a hobby, setting personal goals, and limiting social media use are all crucial. These practices form the building blocks that shape our values and behavioural patterns, helping us grow in a healthy and sustainable way.

That being said, there is one major lesson I find myself coming back to over and over again: caring less about my job. I have to constantly remind myself of this, as it’s easy to get caught up in the demands and pressures of work. But what do I mean by “caring less”? Or rather, what don’t I mean?

I don’t mean being unprofessional, neglecting our responsibilities, ignoring our colleagues, or disregarding the values of the companies we work for. We all know what we’re signing up for when we accept a job, and that involves meeting certain expectations. What I do mean is not letting work dominate our lives, not thinking that our self-worth is tied to promotions, or believing that our achievements define who we are. It’s about recognizing that being a top performer, having a perfectionist approach, or always striving for the next goal doesn’t necessarily lead to a fulfilling life. We must realise that accuracy and timeliness should not come at the expense of a sustainable and supportive work environment.

At the end of the day, we all need a warm meal, shelter, and clothes—that’s why we work. But what truly matters is cultivating a sense of community and connection, which is far more valuable than chasing status or praise.

Here’s what I’ve learned about working smarter by caring less

Blend in with the team, but don’t lose your values. This doesn’t mean conforming to every workplace norm or abandoning your principles; it means finding a balance between fitting in and staying true to who you are.

Optimise your efforts. Do your job well, but make it effortlessly. Working smart means completing tasks effectively without overexerting yourself. Strive for consistency and efficiency instead of always aiming to over-deliver. Remember, sometimes “good enough” is just fine!

Make friends at work, not enemies. You’ll spend a significant portion of your life with your colleagues, so keeping relationships pleasant is essential. Minimise stress by avoiding conflicts, steering clear of unnecessary arguments, and fostering a smooth, cooperative work environment. Focus on getting tasks done well and quickly without feeling the need to prove anything to anyone.

Detach your identity from your job title. Your worth isn’t defined by your position or company achievements. What you do for a living is not who you are as a person. It’s crucial to maintain a healthy boundary between your professional life and your sense of self.

Prioritise your time and energy. Ask yourself, “Is this worth the stress?” If the answer is no, don’t overextend yourself for something that won’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

What not to do

Don’t obsess over performance reviews. They often create a false sense of purpose and can lead to frustration. Instead, focus on what genuinely matters to you in your profession, whether it’s helping clients, mentoring colleagues, or refining a particular skill.

Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s tempting to measure your success against your peers, but this only adds unnecessary pressure. Concentrate on your own daily progress and keep things simple—your career is your personal journey.

Don’t let work dictate your happiness. If your mood swings according to your job performance, you’re giving too much power to external factors. Find joy and fulfillment outside the office, where real life happens.

Don’t feel obligated to respond to every email or request immediately. Not everything is urgent, and learning to prioritize and set boundaries is key to avoiding burnout. Manage expectations by setting reasonable response times.

Life is much more than the work we do

We often tie our self-worth to professional achievements, letting our jobs shape our identities. When we start caring less about what society tells us important, we create space for a healthier, more balanced life. Understanding what working smart means to us is key. For me, it’s about knowing when to let go, setting boundaries, and choosing sustainable growth over chasing perfection.